good grief. 2012? really? i mean really. somehow the stroke of midnight these past few years hasn’t really resounded with me as that big of a deal. 2009? oh, alright . 2010? man, we won’t be able to wear new years glasses with eyes as the 00’s for 90 years. 2011? hm, 11 seems like a solid number, maybe this year will be great. in looking at the passing of recent years, i can definitely think of some highlights. i’ve made some wonderful friends. i’ve seen some amazing places. i’ve accomplished some things i’m pretty proud of. but here’s the thing, when i look back at these years as a whole, i just kind of have this blah feeling. blah with maybe even a tinge of panic in that - “what the hell am i doing with my life i should have things figured out at this point time” - way. but, i just feel that 2012 is my year. MY year. all mine. like i am going to make it mine and conquer it because i want to. i’ve never really felt the determination on 1/1 before to take on a year and make it different because i really want to make it different. i think that’s the kicker that’s been missing up to this point in being able to start off a year optimistically, look back 365 days later, and think, “what an amazing year i’ve had.”
ok, so resolutions. hm, you know how you look at some words and they just seem silly? like foreign? like what does that even mean? well, that’s how i feel about the word resolutions. goals. i like that word much better as something to call my list of things that i want to work towards fulfilling in 2012. but…goals just doesn’t feel totally right either. i think this situation calls for a mashup. gosh i just love a good mashup, AKA taking two words and slapping them together to make a whole new word. new year, new word, solid (yes, this is how my brain works). so, here it is: GOALUTIONS. legit, right?
ok, so goalutions. in naming my goalutions, i decided to take all the highlights from the past years and work to carry them forth and make them more present in 2012. in the same sense, i want to take all the things i consider to be, um, lowlights and work towards not having them this year. so here we go:
2012 GOALUTIONS
1. Make something creative with my hands everyday. This can be anything from drawing, to painting, to cooking a meal. Start out with parts and end up with a thing.
2. Travel to another country/countries. Some of the greatest experiences of my life were had in traveling and seeing the world, and I want to see more.
3. Blog 4x a week. This is something that I have meant to get back into for a long time for no other reason than it is a creative outlet that I think is fun. If I weren’t me, I probably wouldn’t read this. I have this tendency to be super wordy and go on and I imagine to anyone else this stuff is as boring as I consider watching say, the game of golf, to be. But all I know is that plucking away at the keyboard, and rambling off thoughts with no rand then finally clicking post is kind of exhilarating.
4. Get up early enough to take time for myself before work, be it working out, eating a good breakfast at home, or sitting on the porch and savoring a cup of coffee. I used to be such an earlybird and got up every morning at 630 without even having to set an alarm. Now, I have to drag myself out of bed. I think this is due to a slow progression of me just not particularly looking forward to going to work or what the day holds because I don’t particularly like my non-creative boring desk job. In fact, I particularly don’t like it at all (I know, hopefully working towards my goalutions will help me figure out an occupation that I actually enjoy). Then at the end of the day I feel bummed out because I don’t take the time in a day to have a life outside of work, and then not really feeling like doing anything after work because I am dreading having to get up the next morning and go to work. Therein lies the vicious cycle of me feeling like my life is work.
5. Have routine dinner parties. This one I am excited about because it combines so many things that I love and want to incorporate more of into this year. Like: cooking, having friends over more often, getting creative with recipes and making new things, sharing a good meal with good friends with meaningful conversation as opposed to pbr fueled dive bar mumbo that you half remember the next day as you wash your pillowcase that wreaks of smoke.
6. Read a book a month. I am terribly ashamed of how rarely I pick up a book and read. I can probably count on one hand the amount of books that I’ve read in entirety over the past 3 years. I’ve just kind of gotten out of practice I suppose. My mind wanders, I start thinking about other things. So more than the accomplishment and fulfillment of reading a book in itself, it’s also a way for me to really work on being in the moment and meditating. *note to self, really try to not roll your eyes at the mention of meditating. it is a good thing that you need to do more of and not some hokey load of bullhonkey
7. Do it now if it can by any means be done now. Good heavens am I a procrastinator. No really. I put off silly things for no reason at all other than pure laziness. Things like paying a bill, dropping something at the post office, getting my oil changed, replacing a burnt lightbulb. It’s ridiculous really, and may or may not be a reflection of this subconscious stubborn self-destructive shenanigans that I tend to do to myself sometimes. Either way, do it now!
8. Practice the guitar everyday for at least 20 minutes. I started taking guitar lessons a few months ago for 30 minutes on Saturdays. Because of the holidays, I’ve had to cancel my last few lessons and have fallen out of practice. But really, 20 minutes. I can find 20 minutes in a day. Ideally more, but realistically and feasibly 20 minutes.
9. Declutter. I just have a lot of shit that I have no use for. Papers, knick knacks, clothes, shoes. Just so much crap that I need to go through and give, donate, or chunk.
10. Stop picking at my cuticles. Worst nervous habit ever.
11. Pick a month and quit drinking for the sole reason to prove to myself that I can do it.
12. Move to New York. I don’t know exactly what sparked my fascination with the city, but since I was a little girl it has been my dream to live in New York. So many times I was close to moving, but due to jobs, money, and my own fear of taking a risk, I haven’t done it. Even though I absolutely love New Orleans and can see myself living here forever, I have to have the experience of moving far away and fulfilling a long-held dream while I can.
There they are. My 12 goalutions for 2012. And for once, I’m truly excited to get started on a fresh and new year.
